How we met: ‘He seemed very nice and kind – and I really liked his hands’

When Virginia discovered a passion for sailing in her 20s, she never imagined it would lead to her meeting the love of her life. “I had gone to university, but I left because there was no provision for deaf people,” says Virginia, who lost her hearing as a child after contracting meningitis. “Some friends introduced me to the Ocean Youth Trust, which offered sailing training, and I loved that. But after a while, I wanted more responsibility.”
An opportunity came up to become a permanent crew member on a tall ship, which travelled around the UK and Europe, called the Lord Nelson, and she jumped at the chance. The voyages were arranged by a charity that paired able-bodied and disabled sailors together to support each other on board. “I became the bosun’s mate,” says Virginia.
In October 1991, the ship became stormbound in Birkenhead before a trip from Liverpool to Dublin. The crew all headed to a “dodgy” local pub for drinks while they waited for the weather to improve. That’s where Virginia spotted Matthew for the first time. “I lived in Henley-on-Thames and had recently started my own estate agency,” he says. “I had been sailing for 10 years and started volunteering on the Lord Nelson during my holidays. On that trip, I was a relief chef”
They got chatting that evening and Matthew was instantly taken by her. “Virginia was really intriguing and very smiley and happy,” he says. “She’s from Belgium, so I was asking her about that and we talked a lot about our sailing experiences.”
Virginia realised he was new to the crew because she didn’t recognise him. “I was lip-reading as we were talking and he seemed very nice and kind. I really liked his hands, too,” she says.
Once on the ship, they continued to get to know each other. “I preferred working on deck but I had to do some shifts in the kitchen,” she says. “We had to get up early and I was always late so Matthew would be angry with me. Then we’d have a laugh about it.”
A few days after they disembarked, she asked for his number from a friend. “Because she couldn’t phone herself, she got a friend to call and ask if she could come and see me. Of course I said yes,” says Matthew. At the time, Virginia was based in Belgium, where she worked as a translator when she wasn’t sailing. When she came to Henley to visit Matthew, he took her to a country pub. “She laughed at all my jokes, which I thought was fantastic,” he says. It wasn’t until years later that he discovered she hadn’t understood him. “I just laughed anyway,” she says. “I knew I really liked him.”
They continued to date long-distance, using a fax machine to communicate when she was in Belgium. Matthew also began to learn sign language so they could talk to each other better.
By the start of the following year, Virginia says they “just knew” they were right together. She moved to Henley to live with him and he proposed in October 1992, one year after they met. “We were on the way to see her family and I asked if we were seeing her dad,” Matthew says. “She said: ‘If it’s what I think, then you better ask me first.’ So I used sign language to ask her to marry me.” A few weeks later he formally proposed, down on one knee during a sailing trip. “Everyone was really excited for us. I even had champagne and someone took a picture.”
They married in May 1993 and had four children together. Virginia left work and sailing to care for them when they were young, while Matthew continued with his estate agency. In 2011, Virginia was diagnosed with cervical cancer. She has since recovered, but the experience made them both realise they wanted to get back to their passions. “I retired a few years later and we bought a sailing boat which we keep in Cornwall,” Matthew says. “We have lots of time now to travel, which we enjoy.”
Virginia loves that Matthew is “a doer” and makes their plans a reality. “He’s always making phone calls for me, but he also supports me in doing things by myself, too. We always enjoy spending time together and he’s been a really good dad to the children.”
Matthew describes his wife as “very clever”. “She is constantly investigating and trying new things. All through my career, and with the children, she has been incredibly supportive. We’re very lucky to have met.”